I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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