friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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