So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Where is the hickey?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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