Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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