brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
