i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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