Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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