People with herpes should wear stickers.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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