Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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