Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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