I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
