turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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