Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You can't motorboat a personality
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
