It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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