Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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