Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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