PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
