well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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