i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
