I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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