you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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