Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
