i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
