I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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