You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
