Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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