Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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