i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
