I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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