I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
