New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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