I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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