possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
