he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
