apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
