i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
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i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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