Got a toothbrush?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
