I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
