we have officially lost it.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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