Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
