loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
