five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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