This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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