I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
