WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
