dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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