just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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