i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize