I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
