i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
