I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
