It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
