why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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