maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
