If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
