Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
