UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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