Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
