I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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