Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
