FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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