the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
