I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
