he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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