you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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