My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
