Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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