don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
